Today's Memory

David Curtis‘ Today’s Memory

David Curtis‘ Today’s Memory

David Curtis‘ Today’s Memory


Rodney Dangerfield’s birthday

Originally shared by David Curtis

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO – Rodney Dangerfield, (b.1921 – d.2004)

„My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”

http://www.rodney.com/

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